A Great American Holiday

I had to go to classes on Labor Day this year for the second time in a row. I’m not one to despise college or anything like that, and I’m not saying that going to two classes on that Monday morning was the worst thing that I’ve ever had to endure. It wasn’t this year and it wasn’t last year. It did, however, get me to thinking about how the only reason any of us take the second-tier holidays seriously anymore is because we get the day off of work or school, because we walk out to the mailbox, open it up, and slap our foreheads for having forgotten that not even the postmen work on Federal holidays. Who actually spent a moment thinking about the struggles of laborers or appreciating those hard workers who make our product-laden society possible? Heck, I bet some folks think that Labor Day is some sort of sequel to Mother’s Day, a day spent in celebration of mothers giving birth or something like that.

So what’s the point of a holiday if no one really recognizes what the holiday is about? Arbor Day might have more cultural significance than Labor Day, despite the fact that Arbor Day is A: Lame and B: Not associated with days off or gifts. Labor Day isn’t of any importance because of what it’s supposed to be celebrating…it’s important because we get a day off, because for many it signifies that last day of summer before the dreaded school year begins. At least during Arbor Day, elementary school kids are dragged out of the classroom and forced to try and plant trees in the ground and are given a lecture on recycling that will eventually be forgotten when Jimmy Myers or some kid farts in class and the important ecological lesson is lost to the power of immaturity.

So what’s to stop this Sept. 25 from being a holiday? What’s the significance of Sept. 25? Well, any guy reading this will probably know, it’s a date that’s been etched into the 18-25 year old minds of America for about half a year now by relentless tie-ins and advertisements. Countless students, workers, and bums alike will be flocking to their closest retailer and circling around the electronics sections, zombie-like, reaching out and trying to grab the closest employee for a chance to seize that holy grail…a copy of Halo 3. Now, whether or not Halo is the end-all to video games (it’s not) and whether or not Halo 2 was the biggest nerd disappointment since Episode One (it wasn’t…but it was close) doesn’t matter. What matters is that the hype and buildup for Halo 3 is so immense, that millions of people will either be ridiculously preoccupied from their daily routine or just not bother to do anything at all but play Master Chief’s latest zany adventure.

More people will be religiously following Bill Gates’ favorite armor-clad hero than took Labor Day seriously, and Arbor Day doesn’t exactly spur the male youth of America into a buying spree. So why not just give us all the day off? Call it Master Chief Day, call it Halo Day, call it Microsoft’s Xbox Cash Cow Day, whatever the greeting card companies like the most. I’m not sure which is worse, the fact that the imaginary exploits of a space warrior against goofy-looking aliens means more to people than a Federally-supported holiday meant to give respect to our plentiful and deserving workers, or the fact that I’ll be one of those zombies playing Halo 3 as soon as class is over on the 25th.